I hate my life

I should have expected it, but I didn't. I thought it would really happen. You know, Anna and me. A whole new life. Then this fucking shit had to happen in town. Why didn't we leave when we had a chance?


We could have been happy. Anna and me. She was the only one who understood me. My sister hasn't a clue. She's so far gone with the Damien thing. You know, who she's gonna choose...don't you?


Who in the fuck cares? Who in the fuck cares!


Nobody. That's who.


I just don't know what to do with myself. OK, I took some pills. Anna's blood. I thought it would be the end. I wanted it to be the end. But NO...what am I doing, writing this fuck'n letter. Like anybody would care. Like anybody would fuck'n care. 


Its hard.... waiting for sleep to set in. You start thinking what you should have. What you could have done. Maybe. Me and Vicki. God, why am I even thinking about her? Seriously. She was such a skank. What did I ever see in her? But still, she was hot and somebody else's girlfriend. And you know, I thought I was so fuck'n happy. Cause, you know, she was my  first and all. And..and do you know my fuck'n sister think's I'm gay? Seriously.  I'm not shit'n. They thought it for the longest time. Too. Hahahahahahahaaa......


I really thought I loved her. Vicki. Not my sister. I guess. But it was nothing. Really nothing. Not like with Anna. 


Who would have thunk it, you know. Hooking up with her. Finding she was vamp and all. Seriously, thought it would suck..hahahahahuh..I wrote suck.


OK, so my face feels pretty much like cement at the moment and I feel a little strange. Like I can hear things really good..but..but..I dunno what I'm listening too.


I don't think I hear my heart beat anymore. Shit. I'm heartless. I think I am...I think ...I might be really on something now...... Here's to the next life. I guess.


Jeremy